


Unnecessarily Guilty

by wordyanansi



Series: Griffin Industries [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Corporate, F/M, fluff fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordyanansi/pseuds/wordyanansi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set one month after the end of "Griffin Industries".<br/>Not their first fight, but the one that settles the arguments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unnecessarily Guilty

“Bellamy, you need to deal with your shit, I swear to god! I am so just… can you not even understand that we all have pasts? Like, for real,” Clarke raged at her boyfriend, sitting on couch opposite her, trying to break up with her. Or something.

“Clarke, I’m just… I’m no good for you,” Bellamy tried to explain. Clarke ground her teeth. Bellamy refused to look at her.

“Please explain to me how you’re no good for me?” Clarke said, after a moment, sitting down beside him. He shifted away from her slightly and she tried not to take it as a rejection.

“You deserve better than me, I’m just… I’ve never been a good person, Clarke. And you’re the best person I know,” Bellamy tried. Clarke tried not to growl in her throat.

“So you’re telling me that you, Bellamy Blake, the man who dragged himself out of the fucking gutter after his mother’s death, became Octavia’s guardian, worked his ass off to provide for her as well as get himself through college and is still paying for her education, is not a good person? The man who saved my company is not a good person? The man that I chose to fucking fall in love with is not a good person?” Clarke demanded, her volume increasing, even as she tried to stay rational.

“You don’t know what I did, Clarke!” Bellamy shouted, looking at her now, pain in his eyes. It almost made her breathless, the expression.  She reaches her hand out for him, and she wants to cradle his cheek, to slide in against his body and hold him. But she knows he won’t let her, so instead her hand ends up on his knee. He doesn’t push it away, but he doesn’t touch it either. She tries to let that be enough.

“Then just tell me, Bell. Please? Because it’s clearly eating you up inside and, honestly, I just… I want to help,” Clarke whispered. Bellamy dropped his eyes and looked away, swallowing.

“You’re going to hate me,” he said. “I hate myself.” Clarke just breathed in and out and focussed on that instead of the man beside her. She wouldn’t run the possibilities. She would just sit there and wait for him to tell her.

“I seem to recall a similar conversation a month ago when I reminded you that you don’t get to decide how I feel about things? That we work it out together?” Clarke prompted gently.

“You’re too good,” Bellamy said, hopelessly. Clarke struggled not to roll her eyes. Instead she just squeezed his knee gently. She waited. After a moment he sighed, looking at his lap, and very diligently not at her, and continued, “The night Finn… Raven was meant to be staying at my place with O and she just appeared and I was… fuck. I’m not going to make excuses. I’m not. But I slept with her.” He looked up at Clarke’s face suddenly, desperate, imploring. Clarke blinked twice and felt the tension that had been in the pit of her stomach and the base of her neck relax. She smiled at him.

“That was like a month before we started dating. It’s not like either of us were virginal,” Clarke replied. Bellamy shook his head.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “I knew. I knew then that I… that I was starting to have feelings for you and I used her to try and stop thinking about you and she used me to stop thinking about him and you’d told me not to do anything stupid and it was really fucking stupid. And then… Now… Every time I think about it, it’s like I’m the second man to choose you second after her, except I’m worse, because I knew you first.” His voice broke in the end, and he looked away from her again. Clarke bit her lip, understanding. It wasn’t… she hadn’t even thought about it like that, and wouldn’t have ever. She wondered what she could say to make him understand how she felt, that it wasn’t an issue for her, but she didn’t know how to begin. She bit her lip, looking at his profile. In the end, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He turned to her, shocked.

“What?” he asked. Clarke smiled at him.

“You are the sweetest man I’ve ever met, Bellamy Blake,” she said. Bellamy looked really confused. “And you’re also kinda stupid sometimes for such a smart guy.” Bellamy frowned. “Just out of morbid curiosity, if you’d been given a choice between Raven and I that night, which one of us would you have taken to bed?” Bellamy frowned. Was this a trick question?

“I… I mean… I wouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that but… you,” Bellamy stammered awkwardly. Clarke nodded, smiling.

“So you’d have chosen me first?” she clarified. Bellamy nodded.

“But I d-,” Bellamy tried, but Clarke cut over the top of him.

“And for the duration of our relationship, you have only sleeping with me? Dating me? Nobody else?” Clarke asked him.

“Yes, of course! But-,” Bellamy answered.

“And if Raven, or any other woman for that matter, were to knock on the door right now and ask you to have sex with her or go on a date or whatever, what would you say?” Clarke challenged him.

“Obviously, I’d tell them no, because I have you, but-,” Bellamy responded, but Clarke cut him off again.

“So please explain to me how you’re choosing me second? Because as far as I can tell, the only person you put in front of me is Octavia and I am 110% okay with that,” Clarke asked. Bellamy just looked at her in disbelief. This was an argument, he realised, that he was no going to win. She wasn’t trying to make him feel better or say how much she loved him. She wasn’t putting band-aids on broken hearts. She was just explaining how it was from her perspective. God, he loved her. He just kept staring at her, and she smiled.

“So we’re good? You’re not going to keep feeling guilty and talking yourself out of a relationship with me? Because, you know, I do actually kind of love you and want to be with you,” Clarke said after a moment. Bellamy sighed, collapsing against her.

“I’m never going to think I deserve you, Clarke. But I’m not going to stop loving you,” Bellamy replied. Clarke laughed softly, jostling Bellamy on her shoulder slightly, and he smiled.

“Besides, if I’m so good, don’t I deserve the things I want?” Clarke asked him, stroking his hair. Bellamy felt his throat contract.

“Everything, Clarke. You deserve everything,” he asserted, looking up at her suddenly. She tilted her head down and kissed his forehead.

“Well, I don’t want everything. But I do want you,” she said into his hair.

“You’ve got me,” he replied, and shifted positions so he could kiss her.

**Author's Note:**

> So every comment was basically "please write more" and "what about the dress". 
> 
> So I'm going to write a couple of short one shot type things that flash into the future of Clarke and Bellamy's relationship, if you're interested subscribe to the collection.


End file.
